


The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To

by narcolepticbadger



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Lucifer wants his friends to get some, New Year's Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 01:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narcolepticbadger/pseuds/narcolepticbadger
Summary: “Delightful human tradition, isn’t it?” Lucifer asked, all feigned innocence and glee, and Linda had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing at how neatly he had arranged it. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled — well, maybe not greatest, but pretty damn good — indeed.Maze, mistletoe, and a little matchmaking on Lucifer's part.





	The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To

There was always something a little otherworldly about stepping into Lux, a certain dark bewitchment slinking through its confines that was both disorienting and wholly irresistible, and Linda found the effect only heightened tonight, when at last she managed to work her way through the crowd in the entryway and was confronted with the kind of festive splendor that would put even Times Square to shame.

It seemed Lucifer was determined to live up to his name this New Year’s: colored lights adorned every available surface, hanging in delicate lines from the walls, from tables, from the air itself — a thousand constellations in miniature — and all of it dazzling enough that Linda was content to falter in the doorway, taking each detail in, before braving the heated congestion of the room and seeking out her friends.

Too soon, though, there was a ripple of movement behind her, a body pressing close at her back (no surprise: this was hardly the first time she had been walked into, walked _over_ at times, in crowded places), and she reluctantly began to give up ground until a pair of arms wrapped themselves sinuously, familiarly, around her waist and held her fast.

She knew Maze by touch alone, now — for all that the demon glared and grumbled over the idea of feelings, of anything so stupidly _human_ , she was more demonstrative with her affection than most people were — and Linda warmed to the gesture, squirming a little so she could turn into the hug properly.

Maze leaned in, ostensibly to be heard over the drunken chorus of _Auld Lang Syne_ that had broken out next to them, and, with a hint of a pout, said, “I was starting to think you were gonna bail on us.”

“And miss all this?” Linda waved a hand to indicate the spectacle surrounding them with a chuckle. “Not a chance. How _did_ Lucifer manage to get these lights up in time? It’s… impressive.” She paused, tilting her head back to consider the display overhead again. “Probably a fire hazard, but impressive.”

“Predictable,” Maze returned with a snort. “What is it with you humans and shiny things? They’re just _lights_.”

“They’re _pretty_.”

“They’re okay.”

Linda elbowed her, _mostly_ gently, in the ribs. “You can laugh at me for liking shiny things all you want, but don’t pretend you don’t have a collection of sharp objects big enough to start your own museum. We all have our weaknesses.”

“Weaknesses, hm?” Maze echoed, her gaze sharpening on a man who had stripped off his shirt in a misguided appeal to the ladies (or gentlemen) in the club as if she were remembering just how many vulnerable points she could find on a mortal body.

She was teasing, of course, but with Maze there was always a danger that her teasing might turn into something else altogether that had Linda saying, “I didn’t mean that literally.”

“I know what you meant. Now come on, you can admire the decorating job and have a little fun at the same time.”

“What kind of ‘fun’ did you have in mind?”

Maze draped an arm around Linda’s shoulders and drew her closer, stooping just enough to share a conspiratorial whisper. “Oh, a little torture, a little property damage, maybe devouring a few people’s souls. You know, the usual.” And then she laughed, reaching down to deliver a friendly slap to Linda’s ass. “Or we could start with a drink.”

“Alcohol first, criminal activity second,” Linda agreed with a nod, winning a thoroughly-pleased grin from Maze that lit up the room in a different way, if not any less brilliantly.

“I like the way you think.”

Before they could move more than a step in the direction of the bar, Lucifer — somehow parting the crowd in Moses-esque fashion, and yes, Linda was aware of the irony of making that comparison — bounded up to them with a grin of his own and the sort of puppyish energy that often preceded news of a particularly bad plan he had come up with.

“Ah, Doctor, Maze — lovely of you to join us, cheers to the season, et cetera, et cetera,” he reeled off in one breath, clasping his hands together in punctuation. “Now, small order of business to take care of before you two spirit yourselves away for the night.”

Maze leaned forward, every inch of her body a threat. “This is supposed to be a party. Can your little therapy session wait a few hours?”

“ _Maze_ ,” Linda said warningly, out of habit, because dealing with crises and unscheduled sessions _was_ actually part of her job description however much she herself hoped that Lucifer’s interruption had nothing to do with work.

Lucifer shook his head, his smile only widening. “Charming, Maze, but I think you’ll find this business concerns _you_ and the doctor, not me.”

He casually pointed a finger upward, and Maze and Linda, arms still half-entwined, tilted back together to follow his gesture to the past-its-prime sprig of mistletoe clinging to the arch centered precisely above their heads.  

“Delightful human tradition, isn’t it?” Lucifer asked, all feigned innocence and glee, and Linda had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop herself from laughing at how neatly he had arranged it. Somehow, the small mischief of obliging as many people as possible to share a kiss under ridiculous circumstances suited Lucifer perfectly, and it was hard not to find his excitement catching. _The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled_ — well, maybe not _greatest_ , but pretty damn good — indeed. 

Linda turned to Maze, ready to play along — it _was_ tradition, after all, and New Year’s was meant for kissing, whether between lovers or strangers or… friends, as the case might be — and was surprised to find the demon stiffening beside her, resolutely looking anywhere but down, where she might have to meet Linda’s gaze.

Lucifer, too, noticed the delay (and the strangeness of it) and frowned, some wordless communication flashing between his eyes and Maze’s with no apparent effect.

“Perhaps you need a demonstration?” he asked, the offer framed as more a challenge than a question, and moved towards Linda a bit more aggressively than she was prepared for.

She _really_ was not looking for any more ethics violations, even if the chairman of the review board had abruptly reversed his suspension of her license almost as soon as it had happened. (And Maze had sworn she had nothing to do with that decision, even though she _still_ looked smug whenever his name came up, and Linda had decided she didn’t want to know the exact details after all, if only to maintain a level of plausible deniability.)

Linda had hardly managed to voice her own protest before she felt Maze’s hand lock around her side and propel her slightly backwards, growling a defensive “What? _No_ ” into Lucifer’s face.

Considering that getting caught in the middle of a celestial game of tug-of-war had ended not-so-fantastically for her before, Linda was more than a little relieved when Lucifer immediately backed off, raising an expectant eyebrow at them instead.

She felt more than heard Maze sigh, and there was a reshuffling of body parts and another brief pause before Maze bent and pecked her perfunctorily on the cheek, her eyes still fixed, unreadable, somewhere over Linda’s shoulder.

Lucifer gaped in disappointment, mouth hanging half-opened like he wanted to insist they do the thing properly, and maybe he would have if Chloe hadn’t appeared behind him, pulling his attention, and then the rest of him, away without so much as a glance at the minor wreckage they were leaving behind.

And it was strange, because Linda felt a vague echo of his disappointment in her own chest, somehow bothered that Maze hadn’t set her sights (her lips) just a bit lower, that Maze, despite how free she was with her touches and tendency towards flirtation, had found _this_ so unthinkable when Linda… hadn’t.

Or something like that.

There wasn’t really time to parse her feelings on the matter when they were stuck standing awkwardly amongst the cheer of the party, the lightness of the evening dispelled in one moment Linda supposed all three of them now wished they could take back.

“So, um, about that drink?” she attempted weakly when Maze’s tension seemed about to snap, cringing at how high and thin her voice sounded whenever she (poorly) tried to defuse uncomfortably personal situations. 

“Sorry,” Maze muttered, shifting again to put a little more distance between them. “I only did that because _he_ ” — the placeholder for Lucifer’s name was spat with significant venom — “would’ve never shut up about it if I hadn’t. It wasn’t… it’s a stupid tradition anyway. Stupid plant.”

She glared up at the mistletoe as if it might hear her and tremble at the painful demise she was plotting for it, and suddenly Linda wanted to laugh again.

“I don’t know, I always thought it was kind of sweet,” she found herself saying, and touched Maze lightly on the hand to bring them face-to-face. “Maybe you just haven’t tried with the right person.”

She closed the space between them, balancing her weight forward and rising on her toes to reach better, and pressed her lips to Maze’s — to her own surprise, as it was, since her mind seemed to be working a half-beat behind her body. She felt Maze stiffen like before (it stung even more the second time) and willed herself to stop, to pull away, but then Maze was kissing her back, slow at first and then with a hunger that left them both breathless when they eventually broke apart.

“Well,” Maze panted inarticulately, “well.”

“Well,” Linda chimed in helpfully, and from the humorless look Maze gave her, she suspected she would pay for her gentle mockery later.

“The right person, huh?” Maze’s hand came to rest against Linda’s cheek, stroking experimentally across the skin before lifting to straighten a strand of hair that must have sprung loose. “You may be onto something there.”  

She thought she might like to kiss Maze again — preferably in a quieter, darker corner of Lux this time — but Maze slyly preempted her with designs of her own before she could make the suggestion.

“Oi, save it for the countdown, you two!” someone who sounded suspiciously like Lucifer yelled across the dance floor.

“It must be midnight somewhere in the world,” Maze said so only Linda could hear, and, in a surprising show of generosity, merely raised her middle finger in defiance instead of seeking the culprit out and decking him.

“That’s not technically how —”

And then the rest of her words were lost because Maze was kissing her again, and, _oh_ , the finer points of timekeeping weren’t worth arguing about, Linda decided.

Not this year, at least.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and a (slightly late) happy new year to you all!
> 
> This might turn into a collection of short Maze/Linda ficlets and prompt fills as I work through all the things I want to write for these two. That being said, please feel free to send in your own prompts in the comments or at @loveexpelrevolt on tumblr :)


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